Orgasm Denial and Cum Control: Top 3 Ideas

  • Reading Time: 4 minutes
  • Published on: March 29, 2024
  • Last Updated: July 18, 2024
  • Reading Time: 4 minutes
  • Published on: March 29, 2024
  • Last Updated: July 18, 2024

As a bisexual Dominant, I have had experiences both with submissive females, and submissive males. When it comes to males, I always enforce chastity training trough a dedicated chastity device, chosen and fitted to the specific person.

When I take this responsibility, I also remember that I have the responsibility to keep this interaction fun and healthy, both on the sexual, emotional and health-level.

While chastity is about orgasm-denial, that’s just one of the polarities within a larger field of control, which is pleasure control; in this case, orgasm control or cum control.

I love giving long and shattering cum control sessions to my subs, when they deserve it, and today I’m going to share with you my personal top 3 cum control scenes.

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Guest post by: Master Lupus
Guest post by: Master Lupus
Master Lupus is an old school Leather Master living in Italy with his Leatherfamily of 4, founder of old guard leathermen and a 24/7 BDSM lifestyle participant. He is today known as a source of information, workshops and coaching on BDSM and the Leather culture/lifestyle.

What is Cum Control?

Cum Control is the practice of edging your submissive (stimulating them sexually, gradually until they are reaching the point of no return, just to slow down or stop entirely) bringing them to a state of total bliss but also strong, frustrating sensory torture.

The goal is to tease the submissive with pleasure and the possibility of having an orgasm, but never delivering it, for the whole length of the session (and sometimes beyond).

 

Pleasure and Health: why is orgasm management important

As we know, male chastity is about orgasm denial and self-pleasure denial; the whole goal is to exercise power trough control, and teaching discipline, while rewiring those pleasure instincts in finding pleasure in service and dedication, instead of looking for them in self-satisfactory acts.

But, you must be able to hold that power in your hands, and also let it flow every now and then. This is for several reasons:

  • health aspects: while there’s no medical research on any health damage due to having only spontaneous ejaculations, a Harvard research has shown how men who ejaculate regularly have a decreased risk of developing health issues with their prostate. In my book, a caged man should ejaculate once a month, or occasionally every 2 months, and this goes for the war dogs of chastity who are locked in long term chastity. The prostate and the whole reproductive system need to execute their function, or your sub might be exposed at higher risk of prostate inflammations, and other problems.
  • positive rewards: as explained in the chastity training article brilliantly written by Austin Madore, in behavioral modification (aka “training”) you can’t just punish your sub when it’s in the wrong, and not give him anything of what he needs and likes; there must be a positive feedback from the Dom; allowing them to cum while still being in your control, is one of the best gifts.
  • Cum control is hot as fuck: This will be mutually true for the Dominant and the submissive. Feeling that you can keep a man on the edge, desperate to cum, is an overwhelming and deeply satisfying kinky action. Well, satisfying for the Dominant, anyway.

the vice mini chastity cage in purple
resin chastity cage in pink
micro metal chastity cage

How does a Cum Control session work

Normally you have your sub unlocked for this occasion, but you can also do this while keeping them locked in their chastity cage (that’s my third favorite technique, more on that later).

You can tie your sub up in a predicament bondage or secure it to the bed or a bondage table, and you can decide to stimulate him in many ways. After all, your sub is unique, and while in some cases direct penile stimulation might be all of it, in some other cases it might be corporal punishment, being verbal, stimulating other body parts like the nipples, testicles, and so on. Whatever is your way of driving him crazy with lust, that’s your choice.

Each time your sub is starting to get close to an orgasm, you would stop, and make it clear that he is not allowed to cum yet. After the intensity of getting so close to an orgasm is starting to fade, you’ll want to reprise that stimulation and bring his excitement back up, never letting him truly lose the flow and staying in the zone. Avoid being mechanical. Keep him engaged and in the zone.

Eventually (the Dom will often get tired faster than the sub) you can choose to let him cum and have that shooting orgasm, or choose one of the many orgasm ideas, to take the full pleasure away, while still having your sub ejaculate for his health.

My favorite 3 Cum Control Techniques

Here are three ways I often give cum control sessions; there are plenty other kinky ideas on how to have a good time with edging your sub to a (temporarily) brainless goon, so share your experiences and ideas in the comments! We are always eager to hear more.

Full Bondage, Red Balls, lots of grease

I am a sadistic Dominant, and submissives who enjoy CBT are my thing. I like to strap my sub on my inversion rack, in full bondage. Chest, arms, hands, thighs, legs and feet are immobilized.

I spread their legs open, so that I can be in between their legs, and I alternate waves of gradually more and more intense squeezes and taps on their tense ballsack, with mercilessly edging with plenty of texturized lubricant the erect penis.

At first, these two opposite sensations are a strong dichotomy for the submissive, delivering a strong mindfuck. Over time, pleasure and pain mix up, and you must be careful with deciding to switch from pleasure to pain when the submissive is close to an orgasm; he might start shooting ropes of cum while you’re slapping his balls (which is great, but a bummer if unplanned).

This swing between pleasure and pain that eventually mix up to an unbearably pleasurable state of constant climax, will make the whole inversion rack shake, as they are not able any longer to distinguish the sensations.

Bondage enhances this feeling (sensorial deprivation too, with a nice hood).

They will be just desperate to feel more of their Dominant’s touch, becoming a completely mindless animal, waiting just to fulfill their purpose: being milked, and shoved back in their cage.

picture from a session of cum control by master lupus on old guard leather website
From one of our videos on old guard leathermen showing the ending of a cum control session while slapping heavily my sub’s balls.

Let Him Jerk Off, but with a timed Shock (electro play)

Some submissives might have a hard time having an erection if they are in bondage and they are being jerked off by their Dominant.

This can happen for many reasons, even opposite reasons. Sometimes it’s like a stage fright; they start to worry if they are hard enough, and of course they can’t get hard at all.

Other times, that’s the symptom of not feeling ready to truly give up control of their pleasure; I’ve learned this trough experience.

So, a good way of teaching that pleasure is much better when left in the Dominant’s hands, is to let them still have control on their penis pleasure, but zapping them with a electro-play device every 10 seconds, or less, depending on the intensity of the shock.

Let him jerk off on his knees while he worships you. He might be worshipping your feet, or venerating you verbally, or having your underwear hung on their face. Again, whatever is your cup of tea, go with it.

Zap the sub on a forearm or a thigh with a shock collar or a timed shocker, and watch him squirm as he though he was getting close to having an orgasm, but he’s fighting to keep the focus because of the shocks and the knowledge another one is going to come.

Another excellent mindfuck, that can be ended the way you decide, if your submissive is wise enough.

A word of caution with Electro Play

Remember, if the shock is too hard it might be dangerous, and it might take all the focus from the pleasure away. If it’s too little, it can actually be just pleasant for the submissive. Please to reach out for expert guidance if you’re new to electro play. Always play responsibly.

a man kneeling on one knee holding a tray
This can also be done without your submissive out of the chastity cage, actually.

Sissy Milking with a Vibrating Wand

As briefly stated in my article on the best sissy chastity cages, to me a sissy isn’t a feminized man for the duration of a session. Sure, that’s also being a sissy in the scene. But to me, it’s truly an identity thing.

I don’t suspend the behavioral aspect and identity traits of how I communicate and have a play session with my sissy at any point. Therefor, I see no need to take that dicklet out of the chastity cage.

Instead, I like to use a vibrating wand or a massage gun, to stimulate her clit while I’m gifting her with slow, long thrusts of anal penetration; this could be with a big dildo, or even during sex.

I like to be very verbal and remind her all the time she’s a good girl. Every time she is about to climax, I stop all activities and enjoy the intensity in just looking at each other, both breathing heavily.

Restrained on the milking table and milked with a magic wand in his chastity cage
byu/sandbags100 inCagedOrgasms

Here to me the goal is to give her a female orgasm, so I don’t want to be stimulating necessarily her clit directly with the vibrating wand; that’s only to bring her close to climax. I prefer to give strong anal orgasms (which can be multiple), and let her squirt trough the chastity cage like the good happy girl she is.

a man kneeling on one knee holding a tray

Wrapping it up

There are plenty of ways you can deliver an orgasm. Ruined orgasm, abandoned orgasms, chastity orgasms, and so on… but the best part of giving an orgasm to your sub, is teasing him with denial.

Cum control is so much fun, because there are endless way to bring your submissive close to climax, and even more ways you can slow down the pace at your liking. So, these were my favorite three ways of giving a cum control session. What’s yours?

About the Author

Master Lupus
Master Lupus
Master Lupus is an old school Leather Master living in Italy with his Leatherfamily of 4, founder of old guard leathermen and a 24/7 BDSM lifestyle participant. He is today known as a source of information, workshops and coaching on BDSM and the Leather culture/lifestyle.
Tags: cum control / cum denial / orgasm control / orgasm denial
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